Friday, July 29, 2005

“…And I don’t believe that anybody, feels the way I do about you now…”

Well this is my last post until I get to Cape Town and get myself sorted.

As I’m writing this, I have about thirty minutes left in my office, before I say my good-byes to my colleagues. My boss was kind enough to give Nicky the rest of the day off too so she could come home with me.

I’m nervous, and excited.

I’m going to see all my friends tonight at a little farewell party at Mimmos.

I’m nervous for that too.

I’m going to miss everyone I know here, but I guess it’s all part of the deal.

Take Care.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Soon, soon the sun will set…

On the way home in the plane, I just sat there. I’m glad I opted for a window seat so I only had one person I had to “entertain”, which happened to be a six year-old girl. I just wasn’t in the mood to talk to anyone. People were staring at me as I boarded the plane; I guess it was obvious that I had been crying. After take off I sat watching as the lights of Cape Town slowly faded away beneath me. I started to cry. Again.

All I could think about was Warren.

They dimmed the lights on the plane and I landed up falling asleep for the rest of the flight. I woke up just before we landed. It was raining in Jozi. I guess they felt the same for me up there as what I did down here.

I got home and got into bed. I cried. I picked up the phone and called Wa to let him know that I was home. We spoke for a while. I cried some more. I don’t think I have ever cried so much over one person.

Adjusting to my home.

Days got better as time moved on. Two days later it was my birthday.


“Hello my love. Wanted to be the very first in line to wish you a very happy birthday Stayed up specially. So wish that I could share your special day with you. I’m sorry that you have to feel so heart sore today, but take comfort in the fact that 1400km away is someone who loves, misses and cares for you deeply. All my love X”


Yes. I cried.

Things have gotten so much easier over time. We spoke about how we felt about one another and our relationship.

The thought of having to see Wa again would be awesome, but the fact of having to leave again would probably tear me apart. I didn’t want to have to leave Wa again like I did before. I decided that I would be willing to sacrifice all I have here in Jozi, to be with Warren.

We had agreed upon mid-September as the most suitable time. Unfortunately the landlady decided that she wanted to increase the rent to a ridiculous amount. We couldn’t afford to stay there anymore and I had asked Wa if we couldn’t move things up a little. Wa wasn’t too keen but it but it wasn’t much of an option. I felt bad for asking because I knew it wasn’t what he wanted and I didn’t want to make him feel like I was messing him around.

…And moving on.

It’s four days to go. I’m excited and nervous, but more excited than nervous. I know what Wa means when he says, “it’s a different type of nervous”.

Warren makes me perpetually happy, and there is nothing more important than one’s happiness. I believe in us, and I can only hope that things will turn out the way I hope they do.

After all, it seems like dreams really do come true.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

The start of something great

Hey Candice

Wow, I must admit, your email earlier this morning pretty much blew me away! Thanks so much for your awesome sentiments.

Wanted to reply with something decent, which is why I didn't reply right then and there. Am at work at the moment, and it's crazy here! But, I just couldn't resist and make you wait all day just to hear from me.

I think your photos are absolutely stunning!! Then, after I first read your profile I knew instantly that you were someone that I wanted to talk to. You're a fantastic person!

Warren

Such a honey. I’m so glad that Wa decided not to procrastinate this time (unlike my first day in Cape Town where I had to nag him for two hours to take me to the beach)

I really enjoyed chatting to Wa throughout the day, and so wanted to continue our conversation into the evening, and wanted to give him my cell number, but thought I would come across as being too forward, so I decided against it. I had left the office and upon my return the following morning, I found this message in my inbox: -


Thanks for your mails today... I know I've been a little slow on replying. Got so much to tell you!! :)

Hope this isn't being too forward, but my number is 083 955 **** - would be cool to SMS or chat later.

Have a great evening!

Great.

Guess I wasn’t the only one feeling that way.

So that day, between talking about visiting one another, sharing beds, nicknames, more pictures of each other, life history, living arrangements and whatever else came along. I decided to surprise-call Wa at work for the first time. Caught him off guard – Fantastic! I can’t even tell you how nervous I was, I was probably shaking, I still had no idea what possessed me to pick up the phone, but I’m glad I did it. I still think Wa sounds yummy on the phone. Hmmm…

Keeping in mind, I was still seeing this other tosser. I read one post in particular on Wa’s blog (I think I Cracked it).

I saw myself it that similar situation and on more than one occasion. I kind just sat there. He had said it perfectly: -


girls in physically and mentally abusive relationships find it so hard to let go and move on because they are perpetually driven by the overwhelming importance that they place on achieving their goal and belief that they will be successful in changing their guy, even when it means sacrificing who they are in the process of achieving that goal.

I was shocked. That was me.

At that moment I had taken out my cell phone, typed a message to, my now ex, saying I didn’t want to see him anymore and that I deserved better. I kicked his sorry ass to the curb!


Where to from here?

Wa and I landed up talking about the physical distance between us, and how sad it would be if two people who, like ourselves, were so good for one another, but never had the chance to meet face to face. Now, if I checked those logs correctly, it was my idea to plan a little vacation. Considering I had never been to Cape Town before and it was a destination I have been meaning to visit… I thought why not. It was just up to Wa whether he would mind my visit or not. Turns out he was juuust fine with it.

Menu


From Cape Town with love

After arranging my flight and everything else, I was set for a 12-day holiday in Cape Town, with someone I hadn’t met, yet had fallen in love with already. Many people were sceptic with my what I wanted to do, but I was determined to do what I felt was right. I wasn’t going to let anyone change my mind.

I was kinda nervous when it got closer to my departure date. It’s such a mixed emotion of excitement and nervousness with a touch of “I’m a little scared”.

On the plane, I sat next to a Scottish guy, Calum, and one of his colleagues. We chatted about business, travel, our personal lives, commented on how good British Airways’ breakfasts were, and even played a few games, like, “Guess-The-Starsign”.

I had left rainy Jo’burg, and arrived in sunny Cape Town, pretty darn nervous. I got off the plane, not quite sure where I was going, but with the help of my trusty new friend, he managed to show me where I needed to go. While I waited patiently for my luggage, Warren started SMSing me. Crazy man.

The minute I saw Warren, I couldn’t help but smile. Wa constantly reminds me of my dorky wave from that day (as I’m typing this I’m even blushing). When I hugged him I just didn’t want to let go. In an instant, my fear of meeting Warren and disappeared into thin air, I felt so comfortable being around him that I knew that I didn’t have to put on some sort of a façade to make him like me. I couldn’t believe I was finally in Cape Town; this is the day I’ve waited for.

12 Days

Looking back now, the amount of time I spent with Warren on vacation is the same time I have to wait until I see him again. All I can say is that I hope it goes just as quick as before.

We had such an awesome time together, and a stack of photos to prove it. We headed off to Rantanga on Thursday where we ate some dodge food. I felt so sick that evening and Wa was kind enough to go to the 24-hour pharmacy at 11 o’clock to get me something with hopes of making me feel better. Needless to say I just couldn’t keep anything down. We road tripped around the Peninsula, drove on bumpy roads to Franshoek and Stellenbosch, we ate too much Sinnfull ice-cream and whole lot of other awesome things as Wa has already mentioned.

I had to leave on Sunday 3rd April, I was crying on the Saturday already. Yes, call me a pansy, but I couldn’t help it, I just couldn’t fight it. I really didn’t want to leave that night. My flight was delayed so we sat in a quiet corner on the airport floor, talking about the last twelve days and looking through photos. If Warren had asked me to stay and to not get on that plane, I would have said, “Okay”.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

My Hot Warren

The New Year started off, with nothing out of the ordinary. I arrived at work, got myself organized. Switched on my computer. Checked my mail. The usual.

The previous day, I had signed up on some random dating site with mainly Americans on. One of my colleagues suggested that I try something local. So I did. I headed off to Ananzi Dating, with no “real” intentions of finding a boyfriend, as I was kinda involved already, but hadn’t seen the tosser in two weeks. This was purely out of fun, just to see what would happen.

I signed up, set up a profile (with a pic) and in no time, I was browsing away. I found a few people I thought were decent and added them to my favourites. I browsed a few pages with guys fitting my search criteria: Female seeking Male: Aged 20 – 25, anywhere.

Clicked, page one. Page two. Page five.

Scrolled down.

Wait.

Scroll up.

Warrenski


OMG! WHAT A HOTTIE!


This picture caught my attention and blew me away completely! I couldn’t stop smiling (Whoever took this picture, is an absolute honey! I so love it!). I definitely added him to my favourites. Throughout the rest of the day, I managed to con some 47-year old Pom, with One-liners, into buying me a subscription. Nice.

When I arrived at my office, 4 Januray 2005, I immediately went to my PC to check my mail and see if there were any new advances. As I logged in, to my delight, a messaged popped onto my screen saying that someone had bought me a gift subscription. Love-leee!
I immediately sent Warrenski a message, saying how cool I think he is. I got no reply. Fine. Okay. I waited a little while longer. No reply. So I thought to myself, I’ll send him another one, if I don’t get a reply from that, then I can safely assume that he’s not interested. So I sent number two and to my surprise…

I got a response.